how long oh Lord?

The world rushes around in a way I never thought it would.

I complain a lot.

I don't really know what to do with the fact that I complain.

On the one hand, I shouldn't complain. It is good to be content and satisfied with what God has put in front of you.

On the other hand, the world is not as it should be.
And I can feel it. I can feel it in my heavy, confused heart. I can tell it in my tired eyes. I can tell it in my shredded hands. I can tell it in my mother's tears and my brothers' hunger for attention. I can tell it in the silence that is between me and the friends I love the most. I can tell it in the ache that hovers over me from waking through each day I walk through.

It is not a very beautiful ache these days.

I feel defeated by these things Lord. I am tired and confused. Which is ok. I have been tired and confused before. The defeat comes in the question, "Will these things ever leave? Will there be clarity and rest?"

Make me satisfied with you Lord. Show me the abundance you talked about- define it for me so that I can trust you for it. I don't know what I should be waiting for...