I am enjoying myself.
This may not seem like a blog-worthy thought, but I am inspired by my friend Lianne who shared her random beautiful moment with her friends today in an email! If I remember right, it included sheets drying outside in the wind, fresh tulips, and being outside in the garden. And deeper than that, it had to do with optimism, coming to the end of a tunnel, and living in the beauty.
And so, here, I find myself feeling joy.
I am resting. After 8 hours on my feet interacting with people, I often want to come home and do "nothing" which usually means watching a movie. Last night it was Eagle Eye, sometimes it's an old episode or two of LOST, sometimes it's a weird Red Box choice. The truth is, I've been thinking lately that instead of resting, Americans like to be entertained and pretend it's resting.
I do this all the time. I want something to do, but don't really want to exert more energy, so I'll sit and watch something, thinking that if I'm not moving, surely I'm resting.
"If I'm not moving, surely I'm resting." hmm...
But there's way more to resting than not moving. Sure, it's nice to give my feet a break after making them work all day, but I don't think entertainment recharges me as much as I'd like to think it does. Entertainment is about filling space with someone else's story. There is no space involved. I think I need a little more space for myself. I need my own story, or rather, I need to slow down so that I can feel my own story.
And this is my story: A Pandora soundtrack came first -my Kings of Convenience radio-while I was checking my email. Then I got led by a random google search to a beautiful photoblog http://photos.viczhang.com/. I felt ready for dinner, so I began to pull fun things out of the freezer and fridge.
So here I am: just finished a crunchy comforting quesadilla, sweet Brussels sprouts that taste like God makes brown sugar grow up into them, and frozen bowl of my new favorite thing- plain yogurt, frozen blueberries, grape nuts, frozen pecans, and honey. Perfect. Purple and Perfect.
Jose Gonzalez, Sufjan, and The Weepies have been serenading my little dinner. And the background has been these beautiful photos! Rolling hills, bright colors in shop windows, crinkly flowers, junkyard backseats. Curious about these delectable mini cabbages on my plate, I found another gem http://www.101cookbooks.com/. The images and recipes are so... tasty. Maybe I should read recipes when I want to rest. Recipe books and photoblogs.
The Weepies sing "the world spins madly on," and it does.
I'm glad I have my little still moment here.
March 21, 2009
March 13, 2009
Short thoughts on Lent
Just a quick minute for a quick thought.
Desiring to make some space in my life for God and for more awareness of Him, I decided to participate in Lent. I have been surprised and curious that so many Protestant (Evangelical) people around me are also practicing Lent; have I been oblivious to this movement the whole time?
My curiosity led me where it usually does: wikipedia. There is a really interesting article about the history of Lent right here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent . The most interesting thing that stuck out to me was that Lent was a practice of solidarity for the early church. It was a way of incorporating new Christians into the fold- a way for them to show their seriousness about their new faith.
Lent was symbolic of Jesus' forty days of fasting in the wilderness before his ministry, which is also reminiscent of the 40 years in the desert spent by the Israelites. The forty days before Easter were meant to pull back and practice poverty in order to feel afresh the richness of Jesus' rescue of us out of desert and death.
So, here is this practice of Lent all about solidarity, renunciation, preparation, and awareness. Although I'm understanding more this year about letting things go, replacing them with prayer and action, and being aware of God in a new way, I don't experience the solidarity of Lent. As a Protestant (compared to being a Catholic), I miss out on the accountability and community sorrow and practice of Lent. Not every Christian has to practice Lent, which on the broadest scale helps us escape the legalism and mindless conformity that a mandated practice would bring. But it also allows us to think that our spiritual journey is just our own. Our own to think about, our own to design, our own to practice. It feels a little lonely. Or just weird. I said at the beginning that I was participating in Lent, but doesn't participation connote a group activity?
My roommates and I have each picked different things to remove from our diet during this time, and while I am sensitive in my cheese and chocolate intake for Lauren and Suz's sake, and continue to try to ignore the Newcastle Ale and orange juice in the refrigerator, I don't feel like we are doing this together. Maybe it would help us to be more intentional to pray together, or read about Jesus, instead of, at least for me, giving in to the temptation to replace one distraction with another...
This is a learning process.
Desiring to make some space in my life for God and for more awareness of Him, I decided to participate in Lent. I have been surprised and curious that so many Protestant (Evangelical) people around me are also practicing Lent; have I been oblivious to this movement the whole time?
My curiosity led me where it usually does: wikipedia. There is a really interesting article about the history of Lent right here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent . The most interesting thing that stuck out to me was that Lent was a practice of solidarity for the early church. It was a way of incorporating new Christians into the fold- a way for them to show their seriousness about their new faith.
Lent was symbolic of Jesus' forty days of fasting in the wilderness before his ministry, which is also reminiscent of the 40 years in the desert spent by the Israelites. The forty days before Easter were meant to pull back and practice poverty in order to feel afresh the richness of Jesus' rescue of us out of desert and death.
So, here is this practice of Lent all about solidarity, renunciation, preparation, and awareness. Although I'm understanding more this year about letting things go, replacing them with prayer and action, and being aware of God in a new way, I don't experience the solidarity of Lent. As a Protestant (compared to being a Catholic), I miss out on the accountability and community sorrow and practice of Lent. Not every Christian has to practice Lent, which on the broadest scale helps us escape the legalism and mindless conformity that a mandated practice would bring. But it also allows us to think that our spiritual journey is just our own. Our own to think about, our own to design, our own to practice. It feels a little lonely. Or just weird. I said at the beginning that I was participating in Lent, but doesn't participation connote a group activity?
My roommates and I have each picked different things to remove from our diet during this time, and while I am sensitive in my cheese and chocolate intake for Lauren and Suz's sake, and continue to try to ignore the Newcastle Ale and orange juice in the refrigerator, I don't feel like we are doing this together. Maybe it would help us to be more intentional to pray together, or read about Jesus, instead of, at least for me, giving in to the temptation to replace one distraction with another...
This is a learning process.
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