February 8, 2008

Hot... Hotter!... Hotter!!!

In college I gave my friend the advice to start doing stuff instead of continuing to wait for specific direction from God. I had heard a Chinese proverb something to the effect of, you can't give a boulder direction unless it's first rolling, and I shared that with him. He seemed to think that sounded like a good idea. I smiled as I hung up the phone and felt very triumphant.

It is easier to give advice than to take it.

Soph is about 3 years old. She is blond, adorable and articulate, and is always the star of the show when our book group eats dinner together. This particular night Soph was enthralled with playing "Hide Mr. Angry Man." Mr. Angry Man is a stuffed version of Wallace from Wallace and Gromit, and the game consisted of Soph hiding her eyes with pillows from the couch while her mom would be hiding Mr. Man. From the table over cornbread and soup, all ten of us would try to ensure that she wasn't peeking, and then we would all watch and laugh and anticipate Soph's excited discovery of Mr. Angry Man behind the chair or in the empty fish tank. In our desire for her success, we began to give clues. "Look up!" we would say, or "Keep going a little bit further, next to Mr. Kevin."
Soon, the game had transformed into an exciting version of "Hot and Cold," and everyone took turns hiding Mr. Angry Man. (If you ever need a little dinner party entertainment, I suggest "Hot and Cold with Mr. Angry Man"- very intellectual!). As Soph realized that we were all participating, she would emerge from behind her pillows and come and stare at us, hoping for a clue. She would look around and when Mr. Man was not directly in sight, she needed us to help her. She stood there in her pink footy pajamas, content, but waiting for a hint of where to look. And oh, we were so eager to help! But we realized that we couldn't give her any direction unless she started moving around the room. Our shouts of "Hot, Hotter, Hotter!!" or "Cold... ooh, cold, colder..." were based on Soph's following some small idea of where we could have stashed her doll. "Well, start moving honey, and we'll help you!" said Kam, and Soph started sliding her little feet tentatively across the floor.
It hit me as we played this game that I often stand in God's dining room in my footy pajamas and stare at Him, waiting for some direction. I don't know if this is true, but maybe God is just telling me, "Start moving honey, and I'll help you!" Maybe as I flub around and create and crumple up thousands of rough drafts of my "life plan" and U-turn out of cul-de-sac after cul-de-sac of decisions, He will be there saying, "Hot, Hotter!, Hotter!!," or "Cold, Anna, cold... come on baby, don't go that way... colder, freezing..." A little direction would be nice. So I'm gonna start shuffling across the dining room floor.