I was cleaning out my stuff today- all 15 boxes of it- and I realized I could throw almost all of it away. I wouldn't miss it particularly, although there is a lot of it.
I have several boxes of things that I only keep for sentimental reasons- airplane tickets from countries I visited, cards people wrote me in seventh grade, dark grainy pictures and their doubles from my summers at camp, ugly gifts from friends I love. As I look at all that stuff, it reminds me of those times, but not any more than if I just happened to be thinking of them anyway- my time in Russia, my summers at Eagle Lake, the way my friends love me. I threw a lot of stuff away today and it felt strange. All those things are are memories. What is lasting about them?
I was really into marching band and choir and key club in high school. Today I threw away my letter jacket letters for all those things. I don't care that I did them. That scared me a little bit. What about the things I care about today? What about China and camp and missions and youth hostels? What if I don't care about those things 10 years down the road? What if I throw away my Learn Chinese book and my Tibetan travel guide? What will this have been worth?
And then I thought about the people I have met along the way- in Russia, at camp, in college. What if those relationships had continued? What if I had kept ahold of those people the way I did all the little objects that I've collected? How much richer I would be. It's not about collecting little trinkets from every country I've visited- I think I do it sometimes just to remind myself that I lived once; that I did some cool things once- instead it's about connecting with people and LIVING life with them- Continuing, which is something I am not very good at.
I left my boxes on the living room floor. I sat down and wrote emails to the girl in China who I love, to the beautiful 15 year old who brought friendship to me at camp, to a friend who teaches down the road. These fleeting, invisible things- these friendships- these are what I want to collect and continue in.
