Fruitfulness

I have a cold.
This shouldn't be strange, but it is for me considering the following: about 2 weeks ago I had my first bike crash. It was really stupid and totally my fault, but I walked away from it with my knees totally purple and cut up. It made it really painful to bend down to do anything.
Then, last week, I rolled my ankle. I have done this before, but never as bad as last week. I couldn't walk on it at all after it happened, and it took me 3 days to be able to walk normally. I was "Gimpy."
And now, just as I am able to walk, my nose begins to run... What's the deal Lord??

And as I was laying in bed with my foot up, not able to work, not able to talk to guests, not able to "do" anything, I got really frustrated. I thought, "This is not why I came here- I came here to be with people and share the gospel and serve." I thought about when I could go back to work, how I could have more ministry, how I could approach people and how I could bring up the gospel more often. And I got overwhelmed. It is easy to get lost in the expectations of this ministry and hard to find your place. And I prayed, "Lord, show me where I can be fruitful here- show me how to do this thing." And right away, He spoke SO clearly to my heart:
"Fruitfulness comes from My heart."

Wow. Yes. How can I measure these things? How can we measure the fruitfulness of our own lives? "I saw 20 people come to Christ. I talked to 5 guests today. I led a Bible study. I sang really well for worship." How quickly it becomes a list that we make! Then we reach our own standards, but what about God's? And am I willing to look lazy, to wait, to draw away, in order that I can know His heart better? "Fruitfulness comes from My heart."
So maybe my cold is just extending this lesson. I better stop blogging and spend some time with Jesus.